To even suggest that you plead guilty so that I might sidestep the need to argue your case in full is itself a compromise. In an ideal world, I would argue every case until only the truth remained. That simply isn't an option under the circumstances.

Given the context in which we find ourselves, I am indeed willing to grant you leniency in punishment this once as well. It should be possible to not only minimize the length of the jail sentence, but also to commute much of it to a fine, community service, or some combination of these. I cannot guarantee that you won't have to deal with frequent visits from a parole officer, however -- nor can I promise any sort of mercy should your judgment fail you so thoroughly a second time.

[In other words, this is your one Get Out Of Jail Free At A Discount card. Don't blow it, Miki!]