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Who: Asch and Natalia
Where: Starts out in Natalia's room, goes from there.
When: After The Lovers event.
What: Luke opened his big mouth, the stupid dreck. :|
Rating: G for utter fluff

He was going to kill that dreck.

This was pretty much a common occurrence and therefore, nothing really new. This time, however, he really longed to wrap his hands around the idiot's throat and shake him back and forth until he either passed out or something broke. It was because of that idiot that he found himself in the situation he was in: standing outside Natalia's door after all the chaos from the month had calmed down. This was not what he had ever wanted to do, not like this.

Hesitantly, he raised his hand, but it was like his fist didn't want to come down on the door. Like he was afraid his hand would be burned off if he even came close to touching it. After a moment, he took a deep breath, forcing himself to knock.

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"Natalia."

He cut her off quickly, probably coming off a bit harsher than he intended. But still, this was something that he wanted to make clear, even if it was hurtful. It was Natalia, though; he knew she would understand.

"I was Luke, yes," he continued, trying (and failing) to soften his tone. "But I'm not the same person I was seven years ago. A lot has happened in that time, and although things are different here..."

He hesitated. Getting bitched at by your own darkside or not, there are just some things he wasn't willing to accept. Being called "Luke" again was one of them.

"I'm not Luke," he stated firmly. "The replica is Luke. I am Asch."

Harsh enough to cause her to halt, certainly, but Natalia didn't back away. A look of hurt flitted across her face for a moment as she tried to understand what Luke-- no, what Asch was telling her.

Things had changed of course, and they were no longer children. He was a knight and she was...still the princess. Was it his own choice to discard his old identity?

"But you are...!" Stubborn of her, but it wasn't a protest Natalia could hold back. "I can tell that now. Even if you go by another name, you're still the same person I remember."

Of course she would deny it; he expected that much. It was still frustrating, and he fought to keep his temper from exploding at her.

"I'm not," he stated firmly. "I'm not anything like what I was before."

He blew out a breath. But I still care for you.

If only he could actually say that.

Natalia forced down another protest, but her eyes were pleading. Why wouldn't he simply accept it? There was nothing wrong with being Luke!

But as much as she wanted to deny his claims that he was a completely different person, she also wanted to avoid needless conflict. There had to be a very good reason for him to be saying this, didn't there? He was just...having a hard time. That had to be it.

Natalia studied the floor, trying to draw herself together. What else could she possibly say now?

"...I understand." She didn't.

Asch frowned privately; dammit, why did this have to be so hard? He was different, he wasn't the same stupid naive little boy that followed Van around like a puppy dog. He wasn't like the dreck. But that didn't mean his feelings weren't there anymore. Why couldn't he just find the right way to say that?!

Hesitantly, he reached out, taking her hand into his like it was some delicate flower.

"...Some day," he began softly, "when we're grown up, let's change this county. Change it so that no one has to be poor. Change it so that war never happens. Let's work to change our country. For the rest of our lives. Together."

Her fingers were still shaking, not out of fear but because she was feeling so many different things at once and trying to sort through all of them. Princesses were supposed to be able to cope in these situations, to appear brave or to wear a smile no matter how trying the circumstances. She needed to get a hold of herself.

But as it dawned on her what Asch was saying - the words of the promise she had wanted to hear again for so long, the promise that, despite everything else, he had remembered and not simply thrown away - Natalia failed utterly. Even as she offered Asch what might have been a grateful smile, her eyes began to tear up and spill over.

She raised her free hand to dab hopelessly at her eyes. "...Asch. Thank you. You don't know how long I've..."

Asch felt his heart break a little at that. Damn, he had been such a fool; how could he think that a stupid replica would ever replace him in Natalia's heart? Van... it was all Van's fault. He let him manipulate him into believing that everything he had was a lie. Van said, Van said... dammit, he really wasn't that much different from the dreck, was he?

He gave her hand a squeeze, before drawing Natalia close, inviting her to cry on his shoulder if she needed it.

Natalia could hardly refuse such a thing, now that she knew. There were still matters she didn't fully understand and didn't know what she should do about, but at least it was clear what Asch had said was true: he wasn't her enemy, he was someone she could trust. And he had remembered. Did that not mean that he was there to help them?

She allowed herself to be pulled closer, leaning into him and doing her best not to start crying again. How could he claim to be someone else when he was so obviously her Luke, her dearest friend? He wouldn't deny even that, would he? Natalia would get to know him all over again if that was what it took.

"...I was beginning to think I was the only one who remembered the words of our promise. I suppose that was foolish of me."

"Don't think that," he murmured softly. His other hand came up, hesitating a moment, before he thread his fingers through her hair. "You... you couldn't have known."

It took a lot to admit that. He'd believed for so long that everyone abandoned him. That no one cared enough to find him. Seeing how Natalia reacted to him... what Luke said... he knew that wasn't true.

"And... don't blame Luke," he added softly. "Replicas don't have memories from their originals. He never even knew."

"I know that now. All this time I've been pushing Luke to remember things that never even happened to him."

Natalia closed her eyes, willing herself to calm down. At some point the tears had stopped, but there were still so many questions. Were there answers enough for all of them?

"When he first told me the truth, I didn't take it as well as I should have. I'll apologize to him later." She'd been feeling out of sorts when Luke insisted on telling her that he was Asch's replica, irritated and angry, afraid that Luke had come to reject her. But that hadn't happened, had it? She should have been more supportive. After all, these two were the ones who had been hurt the most.

"But there's one thing I still don't understand." More than one, to be honest, but this one bothered her the most. Natalia looked back up at him. "Asch, why did you never return to Baticul?"

Asch visibly flinched at the question, pulling away before he could stop himself. He opened his mouth, looking like he was going to answer, but paused, turning away. The question brought up fresh memories of the hurt and pain he had felt, making the relief at being with Natalia again sour.

"...I did."

As soon as she felt Asch begin to withdraw, she realized she had asked the wrong question. Natalia's hand hovered there in empty space for a moment before she let it fall back to her side.

Nevertheless, Natalia didn't take her eyes off of him, even as Asch turned away from her. She considered whether she should do something. Perhaps touch his arm, change the subject, find some way to let him know that she was there...if he needed her. That was when Asch's response cut through the silence.

When? How long ago? She didn't dare ask.

"...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

She didn't say it, but he knew she wanted to know. Who wouldn't want to, after finding out that someone they loved had actually tried to return to them. He balled his hands into fists, taking a deep breath and trying to control his temper as he spoke.

"I... escaped from where they were holding me in Daath, and stowed away on a ship to Belkend," he began, his voice strained. "From there I took the path through the Inista Marsh to get back to Baticul. It was a rough trip; even if... even if Luke hadn't already taken my place, I doubt the White Knights at the gate would have recognized me anyway."

He paused, taking a shuddering breath.

"I snuck in to the manor; there's a part of the wall on the other side of the garden that was damaged enough for me to climb it... and... that's when I first saw my replica. And everyone, even you... everyone called him 'Luke'."

Natalia raised a gloved hand to her mouth in an attempt to muffle whatever sound came out of it. Perhaps curiosity didn't kill after all, instead it hurt furiously. The words continued to replay in her mind.

To go through all of that.
To be replaced, forgotten, abandoned.
To be forced to live in the shadows.
How could anyone survive such a fate?

...Asch had done it. How completely oblivious she'd been, with her biggest concerns being the care of her country and finding some way to make Luke remember, and later trying to figure out their secret.

She couldn't fix this; she was partially at fault. Even so, Natalia walked up behind Asch and wrapped her arms around him. No one should have to go through this alone.

Asch flinched slightly when Natalia's arms came around him, but at the same time he felt his anger at the whole situation fizzle out. He'd never told anyone what he had gone through to get back to Baticul. Not even Van, though he had a hunch the bastard knew anyway. Finally saying it... and having Natalia still near him, despite what happened... It would be a long time before those wounds were healed, if ever, but just knowing that Natalia could still touch him made the pain a little more tolerable.

"Natalia..." he murmured softly, pulling away just enough so he could turn around and return the favor, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

Having finally found her voice again, Natalia opened her mouth to speak. "You don't have to keep living like this anymore, all by yourself."

Natalia's hold on him tightened subconsciously, as if by doing so she might hold them both together and keep everything around them from falling apart. "You told me earlier that you didn't have anyone, but that simply isn't true! As your friend, I'll do whatever I can to help you."

She meant that, too. For what little it seemed to be worth at the moment. Her heart pounded in her chest, as she tried to grasp at the words, "...Asch, come with us. We can find a way out of this place together, and once we have, we can rescue the people of Akzeriuth and look for a way to stop Van so that he can't cause harm to anyone else."

Asch wanted to believe what she was saying, he really did. But he couldn't, not after having to watch Akzeriuth fall and being completely powerless to stop it.

"I wish we could," he murmured softly, "but I think this place is the only way we'll ever be together peacefully."

Natalia felt there must be something more to that.

But instead of questioning it, she responded firmly. "Then you mustn't think such things. With everyone's cooperation, I'm sure a solution can be found. We won't let another war happen."

Asch let out a soft breath, holding her tight himself.

"I know," he said softly... but he also knew that in the future, he was going to die. If only he could believe that when they were returned to Auldrant, they would have memory of this.

"You know, but you won't say anything." It was too subdued to be an accusation - just a statement. She didn't think she could weather any more harsh revelations anyhow.

"Or do you not believe such a thing can be averted?" Asch was from the future as well, Natalia realized, just as Luke was. He must have at least reached Akzeriuth by now. Perhaps tensions between the two countries had worsened.

Asch let out a soft breath; this was getting into the things he didn't want to talk about, that would be too hard to talk about. He pulled away, and though he held onto her arms, he couldn't look at her face. This was only going to be more heartache for her.

"...when I'm from, Akzeriuth is already destroyed," he said tonelessly. "It's difficult to explain, but Van manipulated Luke into destroying it."

He took another breath; this... this was not going to be easy... "And... from the time Luke is from... I'm already dead."

"D-destroyed?" Van had made Luke destroy Akzeriuth? But why?! And more importantly, how? Luke would never willingly do such a thing, no matter how fond he might be of the Commandant! All those innocent people would no longer have anywhere to call home... The mines must have been their livelihoods. What would they do now? They had to find some way to save them!

The next words came from far away, but somehow they struck even more deeply.

"No!" She could barely hear her own voice. "Why are you telling me this? There must be some kind of mistake!"

It was at that precise moment Natalia's legs gave out from under her.

Asch let out a surprised noise, and it was a good thing he was already holding onto her, otherwise he probably wouldn't have been able to catch her in time. He held onto her arms tightly, giving her a stern look.

"Natalia," he began, his tone firm. "This is why I hesitated to tell you who I was. I don't know how long we'll have together here... I didn't want you to suffer, knowing what will become of me."

He let out a breath, calming slightly. "...but at the same time, I couldn't not tell you, and go day by day knowing that I was holding something terrible from you.

"But you are Kimlasca's princess. Your strength and your kindness are what the people look up to. You will find a way to endure this, and everything else that may happen from now till then."

Whatever Asch was saying didn't have much of an effect. It felt as though someone had stuffed cotton into her ears and muted most of the sound. She still wasn't supporting her own weight, and the tears were streaming down her face.

She wasn't as strong or as kind as he thought she was. The only reason she had any strength at all was because Asch and Father had instilled that in her. Because she had to. The only reason she was kind was because Asch had taught her to care about their people. How could she change Kimlasca without him?

How could he die?

Natalia's only response was to shake her head slowly.

...she wasn't listening to him. Why wasn't she listening to him?

"Natalia!"

...then again, he did dump a lot on her lap all at once. He let out a faint sigh, half carrying, half dragging her over to sit on the bed.

'Don't drag us down, Natalia.' It was what Luke had said back then, and it was what Natalia was currently doing - and doing rather literally.

She found herself sitting on the edge of her bed, and it took another moment for her to compose herself, brushing away tears with the back of a gloved hand. She had to look absolutely awful. This wasn't the side of herself that she wanted to show Asch at all, the side that was weak and emotional. She needed to be strong right now.

With an effort, Natalia managed to pull herself together and murmured quietly, "Isn't there anything we can do to stop it...now that we know?"

...well now he felt like an ass. Asch took a deep breath, hesitantly reaching down and grasping her hand.

"...I don't know," he murmured softly. "I don't know if we'll even remember all of this when we return to Auldrant."

"But we both remember what happened on Auldrant, even though we're currently in Prospero. We shouldn't rule out the possibility." It might have been that she simply didn't want to rule it out, but either way she felt strongly about it. If a death could be prevented somehow, then should they not try?

She took a breath, trying to ignore the weariness that was setting in.

"...Thank you for coming here and telling me all of this. Even though..." Even though she behaved like a little child. "I'm grateful."

He wasn't going to hold his breath on that one, though it would be nice. Then again, at the same time, they could know the future all they wanted... and maybe their actions in trying to prevent it would make it come true anyway.

...working in the Order for so long left him very cynical when it came to knowing the future.

"I understand," he replied, giving her hand a squeeze. "I... may be different from what I was back then, but... the only thing with me that will never change his how much I care about you."

Oh Lorelei, that sounded so corny. He turned away at that, trying not to turn red.

The lack of a response said enough. Natalia supposed that Asch didn't have much hope invested in her plan; perhaps Luke would have other thoughts about the future.

Luke...

Natalia mentally scolded herself. Her thoughts and feelings on the matter were still in a jumble. It helped that she had become able to distinguish the two, but now Luke was not Luke and Asch was Luke...only not. So then were neither of them "Luke" at all?

No, that wasn't quite it. Luke's heart was right here. Blushing, Natalia carefully placed her free hand over his, a faint smile playing on her face.

A faint smile worked its way onto Asch's face. There, that was better; seeing her smile again made his heart do funny things in his chest. Damn, Van; how could he have lived without her close to him for so long?

"Everything will be all right," he murmured softly. "I promise."

Natalia wondered how Asch could even say such a thing. Everything was far from all right, and judging by what she now knew, a very difficult path lay ahead of them all.

But they could still try. To make it all right.

"Pinky swear?" Natalia asked lightly, knowing full well that he hated pinky swearing and would most likely refuse altogether.

As expected, Asch made a face at the suggestion.

"Don't be ridiculous," he muttered.

One might have argued that a refusal was nothing to be happy about, but Natalia just smiled.

There was something else that hadn't changed.

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Trolltalia.

Sooooob

slkajsakdjakd /WHYWOULDYOUEVEN

Better now than later?!

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