Lancer || Diarmuid Ua Duibhne (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
croibhristeoir) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tvklogs2011-11-25 08:11 pm
croibhristeoir) wrote in tvklogs2011-11-25 08:11 pm
Entry tags:
// lost destiny, far outcry
Who: Lancer, Shadow Lancer [open]
Where: The streets of Prospero.
When: The Dark Hour, November 25
Summary: Know how to get rid of Shadows. Fight it anyway.
Rating: PG-13, idk.
Log:
[He knew exactly what this was.]
[Ever since his death in the Holy Grail War, Diarmuid had been aware of a crushing and terrible darkness in his heart. It was awful, knowing he had failed again. And being aware of his guilt as a knight who could not serve his lord while simultaneously understanding that his Master had been a terrible person...that alone would have been painful. Added on to the fact that his lord had again betrayed him and led him to his death? It was enough to send a lesser man into utter despair.]
[So of course Diarmuid had come to understand what this Shadow was. That dark, hateful, spite-filled corner of his heart had manifested after so many months.]
[That was why it didn't--wouldn't attack anyone but him.]
[Because in the dark, despairing part of his heart, the one Diarmuid truly disliked was himself. He blamed himself for failing Kayneth, labeled himself a spineless coward for allowing his Master to cut down his pride to nothing, and despised himself for the lingering anger he felt even now. It was foolish, he knew that. Those thoughts weren't worth having--a knight should have pride in himself, and Diarmuid had plenty of that.]
[So he had denied and forced back the anger and hatred towards everyone including himself. He denied that the mere idea of speaking to Fionn again terrified him. Diarmuid rejected and denied the resentment he had died screaming to the world, because it was unfitting for a Knight of Fianna.]
[And now it had come to this.]
Cu Chulainn.
[He spoke his Persona's name in barely a whisper; beside the knight in black and green appeared one in pure white. That reinforcement at his side was a reassurance; even if he looked nothing like the knight Diarmuid so idolized, their presences felt similar in a way he couldn't place. More of a reassurance was the Sukukaja his Persona cast before disappearing; Lancer would need every bit of agility he could get for this.]
One lance? [Materializing from the shadows cast by the nearest building, the suit-wearing double laughed mockingly.] How ironic. It is a shame precious Arturia will not fight as my left hand as I did so eagerly for her. But then again, I do not deserve such a high honor. How can I possibly ask such a kind and chivalrous knight to risk shedding her blood for me?
Silence. [Diarmuid's voice was steady and calm; he knew what he had to do. But it wasn't easy. He couldn't just say 'I'm angry at the world and that's fine'.] This...is something I must do on my own. I know that now.
[No. He had frustrations to take out on the thoughts that had so plagued him.]
[Diarmuid raised the lance held in his still-working left hand, eyes focused sharply on his Shadow. In response, his double held out both hands and summoned Gae Dearg and Gae Buidhe.]
Whether you hold the strength of a Servant or not, it will be a human who defeats you. Remember that, and die along with these cruel and false thoughts of mine.
You are not me.
Where: The streets of Prospero.
When: The Dark Hour, November 25
Summary: Know how to get rid of Shadows. Fight it anyway.
Rating: PG-13, idk.
Log:
[He knew exactly what this was.]
[Ever since his death in the Holy Grail War, Diarmuid had been aware of a crushing and terrible darkness in his heart. It was awful, knowing he had failed again. And being aware of his guilt as a knight who could not serve his lord while simultaneously understanding that his Master had been a terrible person...that alone would have been painful. Added on to the fact that his lord had again betrayed him and led him to his death? It was enough to send a lesser man into utter despair.]
[So of course Diarmuid had come to understand what this Shadow was. That dark, hateful, spite-filled corner of his heart had manifested after so many months.]
[That was why it didn't--wouldn't attack anyone but him.]
[Because in the dark, despairing part of his heart, the one Diarmuid truly disliked was himself. He blamed himself for failing Kayneth, labeled himself a spineless coward for allowing his Master to cut down his pride to nothing, and despised himself for the lingering anger he felt even now. It was foolish, he knew that. Those thoughts weren't worth having--a knight should have pride in himself, and Diarmuid had plenty of that.]
[So he had denied and forced back the anger and hatred towards everyone including himself. He denied that the mere idea of speaking to Fionn again terrified him. Diarmuid rejected and denied the resentment he had died screaming to the world, because it was unfitting for a Knight of Fianna.]
[And now it had come to this.]
Cu Chulainn.
[He spoke his Persona's name in barely a whisper; beside the knight in black and green appeared one in pure white. That reinforcement at his side was a reassurance; even if he looked nothing like the knight Diarmuid so idolized, their presences felt similar in a way he couldn't place. More of a reassurance was the Sukukaja his Persona cast before disappearing; Lancer would need every bit of agility he could get for this.]
One lance? [Materializing from the shadows cast by the nearest building, the suit-wearing double laughed mockingly.] How ironic. It is a shame precious Arturia will not fight as my left hand as I did so eagerly for her. But then again, I do not deserve such a high honor. How can I possibly ask such a kind and chivalrous knight to risk shedding her blood for me?
Silence. [Diarmuid's voice was steady and calm; he knew what he had to do. But it wasn't easy. He couldn't just say 'I'm angry at the world and that's fine'.] This...is something I must do on my own. I know that now.
[No. He had frustrations to take out on the thoughts that had so plagued him.]
[Diarmuid raised the lance held in his still-working left hand, eyes focused sharply on his Shadow. In response, his double held out both hands and summoned Gae Dearg and Gae Buidhe.]
Whether you hold the strength of a Servant or not, it will be a human who defeats you. Remember that, and die along with these cruel and false thoughts of mine.
You are not me.
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